Latest Posts

Legendary Myths Of Kansas: The Most Wanted Man On Campus
Legendary Myths Of Kansas: The Most Wanted Man On Campus

5 Min Read

I knew I was doing something right when a University big-wig asked to meet one-on-one.

Problem was, I had no idea what good deed I had done...

Never Again Shall We Worry About The Great Text-Replacement Theory
Never Again Shall We Worry About The Great Text-Replacement Theory

5 Min Read

It was the greatest prank--hah! I summed it up in less than 2 sentences!

But I bragged about it, and now? Oh the never-ending consequences...

Remember, Kids, The Best Practical Jokes Aren’t Just For Old Folks
Remember, Kids, The Best Practical Jokes Aren’t Just For Old Folks

5 Min Read

One might argue that all the best pranks indubitably involve, well, poo.

But it's not nearly as funny when that sh*t is pulled on you...

How To Fool Your Mom Into Dropping Ye Old F-Bomb
How To Fool Your Mom Into Dropping Ye Old F-Bomb

4 Min Read

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about your clean-cut mom or dad suddenly cussing like a sailor?

Then today's your lucky day, sir...

Never Trust An Innovative Tool Made By A Damned Fool
Never Trust An Innovative Tool Made By A Damned Fool

3 Min Read

Thinking of helping ol' Dim-Witted Daryl fudge on his geography test? Don't be such a dumbass!

Don't forget: he's also really bad at math...

Your Homeboy’s Little Hack For Getting That Hi-Q Edge Back
Your Homeboy’s Little Hack For Getting That Hi-Q Edge Back

6 Min Read

You swear you weren't meaning to get a leg up on the competition

But now you gotta fix the situation without drawing too much attention...

The Confidential Tale Of The Know It All Going To Hell
The Confidential Tale Of The Know It All Going To Hell

6 Min Read

Just cuz somebody is a real smarty-pants doesn't mean they don't make dumb decisions on occasion.

And, no, I'm not returning my medal, man...

I’m Not Lost, Man! I’m Just, Uh, Pioneering
I’m Not Lost, Man! I’m Just, Uh, Pioneering

6 Min Read

Not all those who wander are lost and then there are those who, deep down, wonder why we wander aimlessly.

Me? I blame the deep blue sea...

Wedding? Gift? Baby? Wait–There’s Another Kind Of Special Registry?
Wedding? Gift? Baby? Wait–There’s Another Kind Of Special Registry?

6 Min Read

There's this special type of list that our great state makes--but it's on you to check it twice

Not knowing anyone naughty? That'd be nice...

Candy-Man’s Secrets Of The Summer That Got Out Of Hand
Candy-Man’s Secrets Of The Summer That Got Out Of Hand

5 Min Read

Who can make a boy's wildest dream come true? The Candy Man can!

And who can trash that dream? The Anti-Candy Ma'am can! Or so she thinks...

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Behold, The Secrets Of The Diary Of A Hot Girl!
Behold, The Secrets Of The Diary Of A Hot Girl!

3 Min Read

Take a look inside the Book of Forbidden Fruit, if you dare.

But, young lad, can you handle what you may find in there?

Now Kids, This Is What A Clingy B*tch Looks Like
Now Kids, This Is What A Clingy B*tch Looks Like

4 Min Read

I knew that doggy yoga position alright: "Canine Arching Back Skyward In Glorious Defecation"...

How To Be The Whitest Fly Guy In Wichita
How To Be The Whitest Fly Guy In Wichita

6 Min Read

It's the night before you flight, and something just ain't right.

Look out, ICT, you is about to see all the wrong kinds of white...

Celebrating 25 Years Of The Great 21-Trap-Flap Compromise Of ’98
Celebrating 25 Years Of The Great 21-Trap-Flap Compromise Of ’98

6 Min Read

What's that? You're worried that maybe this ahistoric moment in sports may have scarred me for life?

Just wait until see the other guy...

When Casper’s In The Car, Scary Good Times Are Never Afar
When Casper’s In The Car, Scary Good Times Are Never Afar

6 Min Read

What would Jesus do?"

Surely not be giving out rides when it's not his car...

The Prize Pig Story
The Prize Pig Story

5 Min Read

Did you know…that there’s such a thing called Childhood Amnesia? Most people can’t recall memories earlier than four years old, while the commonly accepted limit is around two and half years old.1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia#False_memories Yeah, in fact, it happens to pretty much everybody. I had no clue such a phenomenon existed until I was 30 or so, […]

What’s So Rah-Rah-Wrong With Falling In Love With A Cheerleader?
What’s So Rah-Rah-Wrong With Falling In Love With A Cheerleader?

5 Min Read

"Rah-rah-rah, hats off to thee! Wait one sec, let me double-check my family tree..."

Paging Dr. Mix-A-Lot
Paging Dr. Mix-A-Lot

6 Min Read

Wanna hear a fantastic–but true–story? On a dreary Seattle day in May 1992, a brave dark knight hoisted himself upon a giant papier-mâché derrière and spoke truth into a flat and listless world: I like big butts and I cannot lieYou other brothers can’t denyThat when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waistAnd […]

The Little Engine That Could Not Give A —–
The Little Engine That Could Not Give A —–

5 Min Read

Say, do you remember those barnyard sounds toys from our childhood? The kind that had a giant plastic arrow that would spin around when you pulled the lever, and then for whatever it would land on, it would kindly inform you what sound that animal made. For example, “The cow says: ‘Mooo’!” Well, I have […]

Sign Of The Times
Sign Of The Times

5 Min Read

As I write this very topical post, we are at the front end of these uncertain times brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. No doubt, some out there probably can’t help but wonder if we’re living out the Book of Revelations in real time. I can’t say that thought hasn’t crossed my mind once or […]

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Random Posts

Could The Truth About This Life Possibly Be Any Dumber?
Could The Truth About This Life Possibly Be Any Dumber?

5 Min Read

Most people can't quite put their finger on what feels 'off' about their lives.

At least until what's 'off' is a little too 'on the nose'...

Three Farm-Tested Words Of Wisdom For Living A Happy Life
Three Farm-Tested Words Of Wisdom For Living A Happy Life

5 Min Read

Ignore those who will try to tell you "Happy wife, happy life!"

No, true happiness can be found in 3 very different words...

How To Be Grateful For The Mediocre Man (Hood) In Your Life
How To Be Grateful For The Mediocre Man (Hood) In Your Life

3 Min Read

So you think you're a tough guy, eh? Well, I bet you're no Sylvester, though, you little punk...

It’s A Holiday Miracle On Willow Drive, My Dudes
It’s A Holiday Miracle On Willow Drive, My Dudes

5 Min Read

Sometimes, there are no gifts under the tree. Sometimes, the real gift is the tree itself...

How To Land The Most Exotic Hottie In The Hood
How To Land The Most Exotic Hottie In The Hood

6 Min Read

The Good Lord hath blessed you with a real angel next door

But alas, barring some miracle, she shall never be yours...

You Fool! You Think Murder Will Stop This Beeping Heart?
You Fool! You Think Murder Will Stop This Beeping Heart?

4 Min Read

Being audibly abused is never thrilling.

It just might make a nice guy resort to killing...

A New Twist On The “With Friends Like These” Motif
A New Twist On The “With Friends Like These” Motif

2 Min Read

As the saying goes "With friends like these, who needs enemas?"

Your friends. Your friends need enemas. Because they're ass-hats...

My Dumb, Crummy Destiny: Accusing Chestnuts Of Being Lazy
My Dumb, Crummy Destiny: Accusing Chestnuts Of Being Lazy

4 Min Read

Beware if you find yourself making outrageous claims like "I invented cake pops..."

In Soviet Russia
In Soviet Russia

4 Min Read

As one whose thoughts often outpace his mouth, I have experienced my fair share of unintentional spoonerisms. At some point, though, I realized that spoonerisms weren’t something to be ashamed of, but rather embraced. There is much bemusement to be found therein, and sometimes by intentionally spoonerin’ it up one can result in getting easy […]

Kandy Karma Part 1
Kandy Karma Part 1

6 Min Read

Note: this is the 1st installment of the Kandy Karma saga. If you have already read this, please feel free to skip to Parts 2 & 3. Free candy? Socially-sanctioned dress-up playtime? No age restrictions? On it’s face, Halloween seems like a deal too good to be true. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned […]

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